blog party.

stuff i like to laugh about lol

ratchetmessreturns:

Y’all tuning in to Maury tomorrow or what? This is literally the preview for tomorrows show!

(via telapathetic)

  • *looking at my legs*: Oh my god why
  • *looking at my stomach*: Oh my god why
  • *looking at my arms*: Oh my god why
  • *looking at my face*: Oh my god why
  • *trying to exercise*: Oh my god why
  • *eating shitty food*: Oh my god why
  • *weighing myself*: Oh my god why
  • *looking at my life*: Oh my god why
  • *looking at my music taste*: cool man

all american family dinner

  • mom: hello son you need to put out the fancy dinner plates. i ordered some Chinese food and we will serve it on the plates so we can pretend i cooked
  • son: of course mom, can u pass me the apple juice
  • mom: of course son. be careful it is very spicy
  • son: *sips juice* OH SUGAR U WERE RIGHT MOM THIS APPLE JUICE IS MUCH TOO SPICY
  • dad: ha ha ha. wash it down with hot dogs, and all american tradition.
  • son: thanks dad. hey, wanna play baseball with me after dinner?
  • dad: we can't tonight, son. tonight is the night we are having our annual family photograph taken
  • mom: i picked out matching sweaters for all of us including the dog.
  • son: we will look great! we should use the photograph as a christmas card! merry christmas from the bakers!
  • dad: great idea, son. don't forget about our fishing trip this weekend
  • son: golly dad, how could i forget that important american family tradition

My problem was that no one ever needed me as much as I needed them.

—(58/365) by (KJ)

(Source: kjpoems, via lindsaylohoean)

SURFBOART.

(via okaymad)

pubicles:

Becoming a cold hearted bitch wasn’t really what I planned to do with my life but here I am

(via telapathetic)

grvm:

when your friend tells you about their crush

image

when you have sex with your friend’s crush

image

(via okaymad)